My vote is 3! The first felt too tight in with details I had to track too closely for not knowing anything yet. The second felt too broad scope, like I didn't have enough to hang onto. The third was just right - the perfect blend of broad picture and finer detail. And I'm tickled by them all, and this prompt...it felt like Goldilocks and the Three Bears: too warm, too cold, JUST right!
I had a hard time choosing between 1 & 3, but I was immediately intrigued by your description of Sylvie and I wanted to know more about her. The "use your powers for good" line hit home because I have heard it many times as an energy healer!
I suspect it sounds a bit too Marvel-comic world for most, but those of us who do energy work definitely know about using our powers for good! I’m so glad Sylvie intrigued you. She’s based on a real person who always intrigued me.
I LOOOOOOOVE how fiction allows us to take folks who intrigue us in real life and add details as our imagination wanders. I've always loved people watching and making up stories in my head so this feels like a beautiful fit. xoxo
another one of my curiosity tangents :) does my writer heart subconsciously want to rewrite everything i read? maybe i just need to sit back and 'wait' on what the author wants to evolve. Maybe that's what intrigue is suppose to do? make us want to continue the journey to what the wait is for. No 3 did that for me.
Oh, interesting! So writing that creates not just an opening of possibility but a willingness in the reader to be present and patient as that possibility evolves.
3 is gorgeous. I just think it doesn't need the parentheses. Some of this writing, which is generally so beautiful and inviting, feels disjointed with all the sidelines and add-ins.
I lean toward number 3 - I love the house saying, nothing to see here ... what is it hiding? I love the stone steps will-o-wisping through the trees! (Had to look it up, the meaning is so cool:) And I love that her dad grabbed the back of her shirt as she leaned over the edge - it felt like the house was calling to her. I'm a sucker for an atmospheric setting!
why i picked what i picked... I couldnt go with 1 because i didnt like the character. Is that weird? dont want to continue based on if I like the character or not? Number 3 landed for me though because of the contrast between the ramshackle house owned by her aunt and the rich value of the sculptures owned by her grandfather or was it great grandfather(?). I started wondering if this was the character's imagination or reality and why the contrast between lots of worth and not so much and where was that leading.
I also think its interesting how we want to like characters... And it's a good question whether that is necessary or not. Can we watch a character evolve even if we don't like them? Because I think that's what story is-- evolution.
Number 3 is the best written and immediately draws you in! It paints a world with broad graceful strokes and I want to know more. Number 2 is second. Number 1 has too many details that jump around and I had to read it 3 times to figure out what was going on.
I agree, Meaghan. The first one was too close in with fine details that moved around. I thought it was beautiful but perhaps it belonged in a place where we could contextualize the details a bit more.
My vote is 3! The first felt too tight in with details I had to track too closely for not knowing anything yet. The second felt too broad scope, like I didn't have enough to hang onto. The third was just right - the perfect blend of broad picture and finer detail. And I'm tickled by them all, and this prompt...it felt like Goldilocks and the Three Bears: too warm, too cold, JUST right!
It's such great feedback and really something to think about -- how tight to zoom in. :) Maia
I had a hard time choosing between 1 & 3, but I was immediately intrigued by your description of Sylvie and I wanted to know more about her. The "use your powers for good" line hit home because I have heard it many times as an energy healer!
I suspect it sounds a bit too Marvel-comic world for most, but those of us who do energy work definitely know about using our powers for good! I’m so glad Sylvie intrigued you. She’s based on a real person who always intrigued me.
I LOOOOOOOVE how fiction allows us to take folks who intrigue us in real life and add details as our imagination wanders. I've always loved people watching and making up stories in my head so this feels like a beautiful fit. xoxo
another one of my curiosity tangents :) does my writer heart subconsciously want to rewrite everything i read? maybe i just need to sit back and 'wait' on what the author wants to evolve. Maybe that's what intrigue is suppose to do? make us want to continue the journey to what the wait is for. No 3 did that for me.
Oh, interesting! So writing that creates not just an opening of possibility but a willingness in the reader to be present and patient as that possibility evolves.
3 is gorgeous. I just think it doesn't need the parentheses. Some of this writing, which is generally so beautiful and inviting, feels disjointed with all the sidelines and add-ins.
Thank you!
I am the queen of the tangent and really do need to keep it in check! Thank you for that reminder.
And three is the actual beginning. :)
It's brilliant! I definitely want to read more. Very intriguing. Thank you Maia! and Stephanie. I love this series.
Laura, we're so happy you are here and loving the series. We're loving it too!
I lean toward number 3 - I love the house saying, nothing to see here ... what is it hiding? I love the stone steps will-o-wisping through the trees! (Had to look it up, the meaning is so cool:) And I love that her dad grabbed the back of her shirt as she leaned over the edge - it felt like the house was calling to her. I'm a sucker for an atmospheric setting!
I agree on 3. The atmosphere had me leaning in as much as Evie was.
I love a setting that feels like its one of the characters in the story. And this is the actual beginning!
why i picked what i picked... I couldnt go with 1 because i didnt like the character. Is that weird? dont want to continue based on if I like the character or not? Number 3 landed for me though because of the contrast between the ramshackle house owned by her aunt and the rich value of the sculptures owned by her grandfather or was it great grandfather(?). I started wondering if this was the character's imagination or reality and why the contrast between lots of worth and not so much and where was that leading.
I love that break down!
I also think its interesting how we want to like characters... And it's a good question whether that is necessary or not. Can we watch a character evolve even if we don't like them? Because I think that's what story is-- evolution.
And three is the actual beginning so phew!
Number 3 is the best written and immediately draws you in! It paints a world with broad graceful strokes and I want to know more. Number 2 is second. Number 1 has too many details that jump around and I had to read it 3 times to figure out what was going on.
I agree, Meaghan. The first one was too close in with fine details that moved around. I thought it was beautiful but perhaps it belonged in a place where we could contextualize the details a bit more.
Very cool!! I want to read more!!!
Relief-- number 3 is the actual beginning! Number one was written years ago.... Its good to know my writing craft is evolving and improving.